FOREVER

"What happened?"

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 20:59:55 +0800

“What happened?”

Thanks, Maddy ♥

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 09:54:53 +0800

Everyday is one step closer.

I miss him, but I know that You’re doing this for a reason.

I prayed that You would help me trust You and fall in love with You, ~~so You took him away because I was letting him distract me.~~ so You let this happen because You’re preparing us for the bigger & brighter future ahead of us. You’re teaching me to trust You through this and to focus more on You, so that I may fall deeply in love with You.

I can’t wait for the outcome of this. YOU ARE A GOOD GOD.

I think about You on a daily basis more than I ever have before. I want to keep growing. I want to keep falling.

And I really want to grow to love You more with ~~Aaron~~ Mimoy by my side, but I do know that I must love You separately first before that can happen.

And I want just the same for ~~Aaron~~ Mimoy. I want him to fall so in love with You. I want us to be able to be joyful in the love we have for You.

I pray that he uses this time to really get to know You.

And I want to quit worrying. Because You’ve got this.

Your timing is perfect.

I am fully excited for what You have in store for us.

Don’t let us waste this precious time.

Reblogging this because…Your timing is perfect :)

Dear Tumblr Staff,

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 17:54:00 +0800

I hope you’ll pay attention to my fan mails and help me with my concern :(

Why can’t I send messages through Tumblr Ask to anyone in Tumblr? :(

Pfft.

Help, please? :D Many many thanks!

Personalized label stickers from Robee. Chose this design!...

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 13:53:00 +0800

Personalized label stickers from Robee. Chose this design! ♥

Hands to work. Hearts to God.

May gusto kong sabihin eh.

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 18:04:00 +0800

Pero pagmagttype na ko, nawawala. Or parang di ko alam san magsstart.

Mejo nonsense ‘to. Gusto ko lang ng kausap, actually :) Or hindi, gusto ko lang makinig? Or gusto ko lang ng kasama.

Reca is in coma. Ugh.

"Even when I detach, I care. You can be separate from a thing and still care about it. If I wanted to..."

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 17:32:15 +0800

“Even when I detach, I care. You can be separate from a thing and still care about it. If I wanted to detach completely, I would move my body away. I would stop the conversation midsentence. I would leave the bed. Instead, I hover over it for a second. I glance off in another direction. But I always glance back at you.”

- David Levithan, The Lover’s Dictionary

"Vision is the ability to see God’s presence, to perceive God’s power, to focus on..."

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 16:33:50 +0800

“Vision is the ability to see God’s presence, to perceive God’s power, to focus on God’s plan in spite of obstacles.”

- Charles R. Swindoll

0036 Dear God,

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 10:10:31 +0800

April na.

Thank You nag-usap na kami ni Shin. I just hope everything gets better with her.

I hope everything gets better with everybody.

I love You.

"If something is wrong with your cellphone, you do not consult your washing machine manual. If..."

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 09:44:26 +0800

“If something is wrong with your cellphone, you do not consult your washing machine manual. If something is wrong with your tv, you do not consult your DVD manual. When your life is in disarray you don’t consult your business manual. You consult your Bible. Do not master the Bible. Let the WORD master you.”

- Francis Kong

While I’m Waiting by John Waller I’m...

Fri, 30 Mar 2012 11:34:00 +0800

While I’m Waiting by John Waller

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I’m waiting
I will serve You
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it’s not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve you while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting on You, Lord

T-H-I-S.

Song of current season :)

March 29, 2012: FB Chat

Thu, 29 Mar 2012 13:42:00 +0800

MarK: Ilyn! Kamusta ka na? Haha. Out of nowhere ako ngayon. :))
Me: Hi Mark! Okay lang naman. You? I just signed my papers for regularization today.
Mark: Nice naman! Ako nga magiisang taon na sa company, feeling ko ang tanda ko na. Parang last year lang ako graduate. Anyway, you? Kamusta ka naman?
Me: Haha :)) Same. Steady lang. Haha, ang boring ko kausap hahaha =)))
Mark: Baliw. Haha. Wow, steady? Seryoso ka? :))
Me: Anong nakakagulat don? Haha. WHYYY?
Mark: Eh, normal kasi na nahihirapan at this time, hahaha.
Me: Bakit naman? Saan ako mahihirapan?
Mark: For all of us, because, we're just adjusting to the real world? Or maybe it's jsut me :))
Me: Ah, okay. Akala ko kung ano na. Hehe. I had my worst adjustment in IBM hahahaha kaya siguro steady na lang ako.

Your timing was wrong & that was a bad joke.

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 16:44:00 +0800

I’m used to people passing by my desk during office hours. Some would suddenly sit in front of me & start a random conversation, some will drop by to ask favors. For the past 5 months, I met a lot of people already. Yong iba sobrang kulit lang.

Yesterday, a familiar person went to the office & particularly stayed in my area for few minutes as we discussed a scheduled counseling. Out of nowhere he asked me about my boyfriend.Ang kulit nya. Sobra. But I didn’t get annoyed (at first) because I’ve known him for being as such. He persistently asked me random questions:

Christian pa rin ba yong boyfriend mo? (In my thought bubble, wala na kami. Hello. But as much as possible I don’t mention it to random people because I don’t want them getting into the details of my personal life. So I just answered, “Oo naman po!”)
Bakit di pa kayo mag-attend ng pre-marital counseling? (In my thought bubble, bakit ba kelangan agad agad magpremarital counseling? I mean, I get the point of going through the seminar, it’s a big help and there are tons of lessons that can be learned. But we have our own schedules. I jokingly said, “Eh ako may hawak ng premarital, kelangan ko magbantay. Hehe.” (Sobrang kulit nya and he was pointing out other things related to it so I just said, “Nako sir, wala na. Wala na.”)

When I said that, all the more he asked a lot of questions and I started to feel agitated, yet I remained calm and polite.

Nako, bakit wala na? Bakit kayo naghiwalay? Bakit mo hiniwalayan? May iba na ba sya? May iba ka na? Mamaya matalisod yon tapos may makitang iba. Pinagsama kayong dalawa tapos naghiwalay kayo. Bakit?

Sobrang dami nyang tanong, hindi ko lang masabi na ayoko pag-usapan. Pero if you were a normal person, sensitive enough, madali namang masesense na ayokong pag-usapan. Grabe. I tried defending on the simplest manner though, “We talked about it. No third party. Hindi yon matatalisod. (Yea! Haha!)” I was quite offended with the things he said and questions he asked, so I said, “Uy sir, wag kayong ganyan, hindi nyo naman alam yong buong story. Hindi maganda yan. Baka po pagnagtestify ako ngayon kung bakit kami naghiwalay, maiyak kayo.” (I probably sounded as if I was joking, but that was because I don’t want the conversation to be so heavy. But how I wish, he got my point.

But I think, he didn’t.

Super dami pa nyang ibang questions. He even asked the name. And I was like, “What for? There’s no need. That’s too personal.”

I was very patient that time and remained to be.

Mr: Nako, kayo talagang mga babae, hindi ko kayo maintindihan. Pagkatapos nyo pahirapan, nagpakahirap kaming suyuin kayo, tapos ngayon, wala ganon na lang. Dapat di kayo maghiwalay, hindi maganda yan. Ano ba yan, parang cool off kayo? Ganon?

Me: Ha? Eh hindi po. Wala na nga. Pero ewan. Malay natin, not now lang. Basta. Okay lang yon. Okay lang kami. Wag nyo na nga po yon isipin.

Mr: Bakit nga kayo naghiwalay? Pingasama kayo tapos naghiwalay kayo. Hindi dapat ganyan. Porket ba yan ang convenient, porket yan ang madali para sayo? Maghihiwalay na lang? Ganon ba yon? Di dapat ganon.

Me: Sir, di po yon ganon. At hindi rin po convenient.

That hurt me. I wanted to burst into tears.

How did you know it was convenient? Who told you? It wasn’t easy for me neither for him, I believe. Eh sana nga, ganon na lang kadali. SANA NGA.

Not because you see me working enthusiastically and smiling doesn’t mean I’m not affected. Yes I’m fine. I’m feeling better now, a lot better than I used to 3 months ago; but that doesn’t mean I don’t become sad once in a while. It doesn’t mean I don’t miss him, I don’t miss us.

Siguro nga nagjjoke ka lang, I don’t know. I want to think you’re joking to at least keep it safe. But even if you are, it wasn’t a good joke. I hope you’ve first thought about the words you said. I hope you even considered what I think about you sharing it to the other person around that time. Fine. Hindi na nga lang yong naisip mo yong current emotional state ko eh, confidentiality na lang.

Truly, it’s God’s grace that I get to wake up everyday, get off my bed, get on my feet, and still function normally doing the tasks and responsibilities I have.

I’m so obvious to the world. When you see me smiling, it means something is making me happy, more often than not, little things. If you see me sad, then something is making me as such, probably reminded of not-so good things or events/people I miss, at least for the moment. I don’t try to hide my emotions for the purpose of showing people I’m tough and strong enough to handle my issues alone. I’m not faking it.

Hindi lang ako depressed, pero nalulungkot pa rin ako once in a while. And I’m not denying that, pero hindi din naman necessary to let others know outright.

And for people who are saying I haven’t moved on yet, that I have to let go to be able to move on, sino ba nagsabi na nakamove on na ko? Dude, 7-8 wonderful years with an incomparable boyfriend (slash spiritual partner and found best friend), shared an inimitable friendship with him for half of my life, how will you expect me to move on in 4 months? And how can I let go if everyday, He tells me to wait and hold onto His promises. It’s so clear.

Now, tell me, was it so convenient and easy?

0035 Dear God,

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 13:23:00 +0800

I’ve been praying about this for so long, but when my friend prayed for me a while ago for the first time, I was reminded of the things I miss out. Lord, thank You. You’re still there, patiently looking after me.

Thank You for making Ange available, for allowing the both of us work in Ortigas and making it so convenient for us to meet when we have to. Thank You for Ortigas Park ♥ Thank You, she’s Yours too.

Remind me more often Lord, if this is really the vision I’m supposed to write plainly upon the tables. Thank You.

I love You.

In the desert

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 10:53:30 +0800

The desert is a place to learn something about ourselves. It is the place where we determine if we will truly live by every Word of God, not by bread alone. When Satan tempted Jesus in the desert, Jesus responded to every temptation by citing what the Word of God said about that temptation.

This is also the way you and I must respond to the temptations that are brought our way. We must have the Word of God written into our hearts in order to know how to respond to given situations. The Bible says, “the truth shall make you free.” It is knowing and doing the will of God that allows us to live free from the temptation of evil.

The desert is often the place of silence. However, it is also a place where the devil will speak loudest because you are in a place of weakness and the comforts of your normal life are not to be found. It is a place where God is often silent but can also be a place where God speaks loudest. The word desert comes from the Hebrew word “dahbaar” which means “to speak.”

If God has placed you in the desert, meditate on the Word of God so that you will withstand the temptation that comes in the desert place.

Look how generous Powerbooks is, they renewed my Powercard for...

Tue, 27 Mar 2012 11:41:00 +0800

Look how generous Powerbooks is, they renewed my Powercard for free!! :D

Right Here by Jeremy Camp Everywhere I go I know You’re...

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 14:30:23 +0800

Right Here by Jeremy Camp

Everywhere I go I know You’re not far away. Right here. Right here.

The best time to love is now.

Sun, 25 Mar 2012 18:15:00 +0800

Me: Who do you need to start spending more time with?
Angel: D-group
Michelle: Mom
Maica: D-group
Alex: Mom
Me: Family

0034 Dear God,

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 01:16:00 +0800

I miss the person dearest to me.

"This is one super tiring work day."

Fri, 23 Mar 2012 18:20:44 +0800

“This is one super tiring work day.”

- I feel super super super exhausted! But I still enjoyed the day ♥

March 19-20, 2012: Staff Retreat in Summit Ridge

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 21:51:00 +0800

I’ve been away from Manila for 2 days! ♥

I went on a retreat with my co-full time servants in Tagaytay. I’m so blessed though the messages shown in the video of Rev. Edmund Chan were almost exactly similar with the recent leadership conference. The video was the Discipleship-making International Conference, if I’m not mistaken, in Singapore.

Andami ko pa din natutunan, meron din mga points na nasabi that weren’t mentioned sa conference in Manila last January.

Things I personally learned, realized, and remembered in the retreat with regards to my walk:

Not just because a person is working full-time means he/she is fully surrendered. I already know this prior the retreat because I experience it myself; but it made more sense as I heard them share the same struggle in some cases. Breakout group ♥
I’m not the only one who experiences difficulty in facing life and service issues. Before, I thought, if not all, most of them don’t go through the motions of having a hard time in juggling work and ministry. Somehow, meron kasi akong thinking na sobrang okay na sila with their walk. Of course I’m aware they aren’t perfect but I thought yon na yong mga flaws na nakikita ko (which I think is very normal either I’m working in or out of the current institution). Aside from those, I thought 98% trained na sila in terms of spiritual disciplines.
I need to always go back to the primary purpose, reason — Jesus. Everything else is an overflow of your intimacy with the Lord.It truly becomes difficult to serve when I lose my focus on the very reason of why I’m there and why I’d continue to serve. In times I’d feel tired and would just want to do things in a pwede-na-yan manner, I’ll need to ask myslef, “Who am I working with and for?”
Not because one finds himself/herself at the same phase doesn’t mean he/she hasn’t moved or progressed. Para lang yang may levels. Level 1 Phase 1, Level 1 Phase 2, Level 1 Phase 3…parang ganon. Minsan feeling natin stuck na tayo sa Phase 3 kasi naexperience na natin yon, but the thing is we might be in the same phase but in a different level. We grow, we mature. We progress.
Jesus has already spoken. This is why I value journaling a lot ♥ There are many times that God already spoke to us but we have the tendency to forget kaya minsan feeling natin wala, non-existent Sya. Pero actually nasabi na Nya. Kaya it’s best to it jot it down, so I can go back to to my personal reference! ♥

Things I personally learned, realized, and remembered in the retreat with regards to my work and the people I serve with:

Sobrang diversed namin. Aside from 2 things common among all of us: our love for the Lord & our calling to serve full-time, all of us differ in a lot of things.
They play & enjoy badminton. Finally met people who enjoy the same sport as I do! I’m now more excited with the new C5 Worship & Training Center!! ♥ You’ll see me often at the 7th floor if I’m not at the 8th!
No matter how often I refer to my work as (simple as) service, it’s still work. Even though I enjoy being used by the Lord by being at service to the church, I can’t regard this simply as ministry because I’m being paid :) I really need to get on my feet every morning & responsibly do the tasks given to me because they pay me. (But, seriously, if only I won’t need cash, I’ll volunteer for a lifetime!)
I’m the youngest ♥ Though si Joan yong tinatawag na bunso :)
We’re normal :)